Headin' for the hills

Harp in My Heart

2007-05-23T22:44:00.001+01:00

We've Arrived

2007-05-09T18:48:00.000+01:00

Well after an exciting and sometimes traumatic month since my last post...we are now living in Colchester. The house in Scotland was finally sold off today after delays and confusion. We've been in our new house for about 2 weeks and we finally have a phone line and net access. The multiple journeys with all of our stuff clocked up in total 2000+ miles in driving and flying, returning vans etc, but it was worth it. I'll try and update regularly as to what's happening with the Colchester Vineyard and our new life here. Those that do, keep praying for us as we get settled.

Colchester Visit

2007-03-23T18:48:00.000Z

We are down visiting Colchester this weekend, to start having a look for somewhere to live and get to meet some people. Last night we had the two housegroups combined so that we could introduce ourselves and get to know everyone. Great bunch (I have to say that as I know a few of them read this ;) ). No seriously, they are a great bunch and Deb and I are very excited at this new chapter. We were able to have proper look around Colchester too which gave us a really good feel for the town. Still lots to do and some things need to happen in order for the move to happen, so those of you that pray, please continue too.

It's Movin' Fast

2007-03-16T22:42:00.000Z

Well, we put the house on the market last Monday, had a viewing the following Wednesday, an offer on the Thursday and now the legal bit is just about done. So assuming that everything gets signed and sealed then we are due to move to Colchester at the end of April. It's happening rather sooner and smoother than we thought but, no point in delaying. All we need now are a new house to rent and a job each... But hey, we've done this before, nothing like a new adventure!

Like Change in His Pocket

2007-03-10T18:34:00.000Z

As I was out this afternoon I felt the Lord remind me of something that John Wimber said a while ago. He said that we as workers in the Kingdom were pretty much like change in God's pocket. He could spend us on whatever He liked. Then it struck me that God can easily use us for a while in one context, then in a flash pull us out of that at a moments notice and "spend" us somewhere else. If you look at life and ministry like that, it makes a lot of sense, and actuallly gives you more security. Exciting stuff this ministry business!

Headin' for the Coast

2007-02-25T19:03:00.000Z

The title of this Blog will change soon as we've got a big move ahead of us. We are moving to Colchester in Essex to take the reigns at the Colchester Vineyard. The current pastors, our friends Sam and Andy Vincett, are leaving to pastor the Southend Vineyard in place of the Barbers who are off to Leicester. Anyway, more details soon but those of you that know how, please pray hard, fast etc, as we'll need it. The priorities are House, Jobs and income.

Here we go, the next chapter......

To Hull and Back!

2007-02-19T21:36:00.000Z

I just arrived back from a weekend hanging out with the folks from Hull Vineyard. I spent Saturday night at a retreat centre in North Yorkshire at their "reaching your potential" conference. Then Sunday it was down to Hull itself to check out the monthly evening worship service. Today we did a bunch of video footage at the Vineyard Records UK offices for the Songteach web site. I demonstrated a few songs, and went over various guitar techniques. Had a great time and they are all very hospitable and a great bunch to hang out with. After a 4 and a half hour drive this evening though, it's great to be back with the family at home.

Abba Father

2007-02-13T14:03:00.000Z

My 7 month old son can't of course speak yet, but he has been making word like sounds. He's learning how to use his voice. The one word that keeps coming from his lips is "abba". Now I'm not going to claim that this has some super spiritual significance, as it's probably just the easiest sound to make. However the Lord reminded me this morning that to cry "Abba" is our default setting. If it were possible to reboot humans to pre-fall times this is what would come out of their mouths first. Actually, even post-fall this is the supressed cry of our hearts. We are made for relationship with uor heavenly Father.

Trent Vineyard

2007-02-12T13:12:00.000Z

As I'm in a "youtube" mood still, I thought I'd post up a video of the guys from Trent Vineyard in Nottingham. This is a great song and they're good guys. This is a very honest heartfelt, worship song...the kind I like!

Powerful Stuff

2007-02-09T18:58:00.000Z

I never cease to be inspired by the "Seeger Sessiosn" album. I was watching this today on DVD and the goosebumps hit me. Enjoy....

Never rest on your laurels

2007-02-09T08:10:00.000Z

Funny how things turn out. Things have changed completely in the last few months. It's been a journey and a half and we're not where we throught we'd be. But very glad we are. Never get comfortable or think you've got it worked out. Likewise never despair and think that there is no hope as God has a habit of changing things in an instant, and then you go....ah, that's why that happened. God is good, and he keeps you on your toes!

Passion & Soul

2007-02-06T21:57:00.000Z

What I'd give to write, or even hear, worship songs with this much soul. I'm sure they are out there. This is the late great Billy Preston, enjoy.

Update

2007-02-02T23:08:00.000Z

I'm flying down to the south of England tomorrow to check out some options and meet a few people. Things are changing for us fast, I'll keep you updated!

Things are looking up

2007-01-21T16:11:00.000Z

I managed to get the cooker working this morning. There are some lights that don't work, but hey...it cooks stuff and I didn't die when I turned it on. Here's some other good stuff that happened today.

Got some great presents for my birthday (really tomorrow), including:

"My Name is Earl" boxset, the laughter has returned to the house!

Starbucks coffee bean grinder and some beans to grind......now I can have great coffee in my living room.

Feeling pretty great just now (might be the coffee and birthday cake), and looking forward to the snow.

Now it's just getting silly

2007-01-18T19:32:00.000Z

For those of you that read the posts about the things that have going wrong, we're not out of it yet.......last night the cooker blew up! I kid you not. I was cooking Thai green curry and whilst I was doing something else in the kitchen I heard a loud bang, saw a little smoke and the lights went off on the cooker. Now I'm just laughing, it's getting silly. I'm going to wrap my guitars in bubblewrap, just in case they are next on the hit list. ;)

Anyway there are a bunch of good folks praying for us, and when I have a better idea of what God has in store for us I'll keep you posted.

For those of you that feel like failures

2007-01-13T09:54:00.000Z

This is a great quote that was sent to me.

"its not the critic that counts not the man/woman who points out how the strong man/woman stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better, the credit belongs to the man/woman in the arena whos face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly... who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends him/herself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at worse if he/she fails at least fails while dareing greatly. so that his/her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who never have known neither victory or defeat." - teddy roosevelt

Don't listen to the critics, they tend not to take risks or be pioneers. My advice, as someone who has failed spectacularly and often, is....feel the fear and do it anyway. Being sucessful in God's eyes is having the courage and faith to just go for what you think HE is calling YOU to.

Danny Daniels

2007-01-09T23:18:00.000Z

This is just a quick request for those prayers amongst you to pray for my old friend and hero in the faith Danny Daniels. Danny's wife Cher has been ill, so please pray for a swift recovery. They are a fantastic couple who continue to serve, teach and minister above and beyond.

Check out Danny's site here

I'm feeling got at ..Part 2

2007-01-07T07:26:00.000Z

Just to follow on from the "Born Under a Bad Sign" thread below, the mishaps continue. Last night we went to a dinner in Edinburgh with other guys from church, the meal was good as was the company. 5 miles from home on the the motorway I heard a clunk and noticed sparks flying out the back of the car. My wife was driving, so she pulled over and I got out to see that the exhaust had fallen of. You can imagine my muttering as I stood by the side of the road on a rainy January night looking at my broken car.
Well we got some assistance about 40 minutes later and got home. Can't wait to see what today brings ;)

Climbing on the Rollercoaster

2007-01-05T09:03:00.000Z

Phew...survived to 2007, had a great trip down south (will update later).

Just strapping myself in for the year ahead...here we go!

Born Under a Bad Sign??

2006-12-26T19:10:00.000Z

I'm not a believer in luck, being a Christian. But I did wonder today. And the title comes from a very cool old Albert King song. So far this month:

Handed over the worship to focus on planting a satelitte church...then all the doors slammed on that, so now we don't know where to go or what to do and I'm not leading worship just now.
Debbie chipped her front tooth and needed to get it refilled
The shower broke
Car failed it's MOT ( annual legal road test) and needed major, expensive, work done
Lost my keys

..and just so far today.

Settled down for a Boxing Day glass of red wine with my wife this afternoon. Didn't get to taste it as I knocked it all over my khaki trousers and our new rug. Grumpily I went upstairs to change, telling myself that this wasn't going to get me down and we'd start afresh with a positive outlook. On the the way back down the stairs my foot connected with a dog toy, I flew into the air, dropped most of the way downstairs before landing on my butt, smacking my wrists on the stairs. Then, I slid down on my side and arrived at the bottom........nothing broken but very sore. Two hours later I'm in the kitchen making enchiladas. I walk through to the living room and as I set them down, the hot dish starts to slide off the board I'm carrying it on. In a flash I grab the dish to stop it hitting the floor and remember it's been in the oven and contains molten cheese. Needless to say I burn my fingers as I capture dinner.

We're driving to Merseyside tomorrow and Southend on Thursday. We'll need all the prayers you got, can't afford anymore accidents or mishaps......

Had a great Christmas day though... :D

Things I have learned

2006-12-15T23:16:00.001Z

Never forget where you came from,
Never forget who you are
Never forget Who made you.
Never forget what shaped you,

Never compromise on your heart,
Never compromise to fear
Never compromise on the Promises...

Just a few thoughts...

On a lighter note

2006-12-09T19:04:00.001Z

Of Mice and Men

2006-12-08T07:47:00.000Z

Well, we had some big plans and a big vision. We started a couple of fires which have continued to burn. We've taken a tentative step or two and set the pioneering balll rolling. But, alas, the doors for us have slammed firmly shut. Things aren't as we thought they would be, yet to be honest I saw it coming. What we were dreaming of was not, it seems, what others had in their plans, and after all we'd been through since we came here I couldn't compromise on what was in my heart and not be true to who God made me.....so we laid it down for the greater good.

After 5 years of fighting darkness, struggling with life, dreaming and more recently flag planting, a season of our lives closes and a new one begins. We stand with our leaders, but agreed to disagree on what we were to do and how to do it. That said, we trust their judgement and wisdom, and are grateful that we were allowed to pour out what was in our hearts and say some difficult things to each other in a spirit of love and mutual respect.

Change is never easy, but I'm used to it, although now I have a family to think of. Please get your praying heads on and get in touch if you know us and have something for us. Strange feeling being in limbo, but the world is our oyster.........anyone need a worship leader ?......, also willing to make tea, carry gear and put chairs out. ;)

How to lead a Vineyard Housegroup

2006-11-30T18:59:00.001Z

This is great

New Recording of an Older Song

2006-11-24T08:39:00.000Z

This is a song I wrote back in Southend in around 1998. I used it a lot at the time. Yesterday I recorded a new version. I'm still mixing and tweaking but here's a rough mix.

Being With You

We really did invent everything

2006-11-21T23:01:00.001Z

Here's a book that shows that us Scots are more influential than history lets on.

Travelling Again

2006-11-18T23:32:00.000Z

Just got back from Belfast. Deb, Joe and I travelled over at 7am for a Vineyard Churches regional day. There was some great teaching from Trent Vineyard's pastors, John and Debbie Wright. And the chance to catch up with some friends. As the flight is only 30 minutes, we flew back afterwards and were home by 8pm.

The Boss, a long drive and lots of thinking

2006-11-15T21:50:00.000Z

Yesterday I drove down to Sheffield (about 300 miles) to see Springsteen and the Seeger sessions band. As I was going alone and driving straight back after the gig, it was about as close as I get to a personal retreat. I really love going off on long drives, and boy did it do me some good. Here's how it went.

4.5 hours driving through rain, roadworks and scenery (same again back)
1 hour sitting in traffic near the venue
30 frantic minutes trying to find an inch of spare concrete to park on, ended up having to "improvise" a new space. Well figured that after driving for so long there was no way I was missing this.
An inspiring 2 and a half hours followed watching an 18 strong band have fun, work with a passionate and excited audience in a natural and non contrived way. Then during the acoustic section whilst Bruce sang, "The River" and "Devil's and Dust" realising that the passage from Acts about God pouring His Spirit out on "all flesh" was true, and some of the most anointed worship leaders aren't actually in the church, or even Christians. There are guys out there who have "something" as the world would call it but just don't know what "it" is. If you disgree theologically with what I just stated then read the passage again about "ALL flesh" , just some don't know what they got or use it for the wrong things.

Warning: opinion ahead..before you jump to conclusions, those of you that don't know me very well, understand that none of this is judgemental or proud, just opinion.

Anyway I'm refreshed, reinvigorated and a little chagrined. Why the last word? Well as I stood there last night while Bruce sang, "The River" I watched 12000 people being lead in a passionate, authentic emotional connection. Then, he sang about unemployment and the loss in industry in "Youngtown", dedicating it to the people of Sheffield, mentioning the steel industry, he spoke straight into the heart of the pain and loss of that city. Anyone with a "spritual antenna" could feel this. Besides what was going on a the gig I think that God is all over Sheffield as a city, I felt it as I drove in and out.

Now why am I saying this? It suddenly struck me that in an effort to fit the mould, or a trend or the latest thinking. Us worship leaders can become stale and sanitised. Although I'm against "cheerleading" and slick performance in worship times I think some of us (me included) need some freeing up to be passionate and gritty and authentic again. We should be leading the world in this stuff not just changing the lyrics and churning out a pale imitation. I think if worship is a lifestyle (which it is) then those of us who were wired to be musicians need to stop being afraid of expressing our God given gifts. If we're being authentic then it WILL be accessible, sometimes I wonder if we insult the intelligence of the congregation. Last night I saw extended, simple songs, banjo solos, phat sax and tuba solos, ad lib singing etc., and not once did the audience "lose track" or disengage. It's all about the heart after all, so I'm making a commitment to being authentic to who God made me to be rather than what I think the rest of the church expects of me. I think I'll serve better that way, and I'll be more effective. So, who's with me.....

Standin' at the Crossroads

2006-11-13T00:01:00.000Z

This is the closest song I can find to illustrate the mood I'm in...interpret it for yourself!

November update

2006-11-01T11:15:00.000Z

It's been a while since I posted, lots going on. Deb is now back at work 3 days a week, so that means I'm looking after Joe during the day then doing some guitar lessons in the evening. I'm at a real crossroads career wise at the moment, really because I need to be around for Joe and I need to free up the evenings and weekends for church stuff. With that in mind I'm winding down the teaching and going online. I used to be a graphic designer, and my degree consisted of video production, performance art and photography. It's about time I used these skills and my old ambition to write (I used to want to be a journalist). In the next few weeks I'll be developing a subscription based guitar tuition site, with articles, videos and podcasts. I'll let you know how that goes. I'm also trying to set up some "School of Rock" style workshops in primary schools, should be fun.

I'll keep you posted.

Your Theological Position

2006-10-23T15:29:00.000+01:00

Did another quiz today, this is a bit more involved but interesting? Can you tell I was saved into a Methodist church?

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Music for your soul

2006-10-23T13:52:00.000+01:00

Here's some Monday blues to smooth out the day. Enjoy.

What famous guitarist are you most like

2006-10-23T12:33:00.000+01:00

Here's a fun quiz that you can do online

Which famous guitarist are you? Your Result: David Gilmour You play from the heart. You also deliver a great show anytime. You have skill, but you really don't like to show off. You let the music come in second to the visuals of the show. You prefer to play with people who know what they are doing.
Jimi Hendrix
Adam Jones
Jimmy Page
Dimebag Darrell
Synyster Gates
Tom Delonge
Which famous guitarist are you?

Across the Irish Sea

2006-10-12T18:27:00.000+01:00

Friday I'm off with a few other guys to fly across to Northern Ireland. We're going to a worship leader's training day with Brian Doerksen and Kathryn Scott. Apart from the 5am pickup, the 40 minute bouncy flight on Easy Jet and the drive through unfamiliar Irish country roads, up to Causeway Coast (and then back in the evening), I'm really looking forward to it. Actually I'm looking forward to the travel too, just not the early start.

I always like Brian's style of teaching, plus it'll be a great chance to hang outr with some friends for the journey.

Scotland 1 France 0

2006-10-07T23:34:00.000+01:00

Looks like we got the ol' spirit back...what a game!!

Conferences and Changes

2006-10-03T11:41:00.000+01:00

The last two weeks we've been pretty much running from conference to conference. Last weekend we had a fantastic "What is Worship" conference with Dan Wilt

I had the priviledge of leading some of the worship, along with Dan, and one of our guys, Ryan MacKenzie. Dan spoke at the Almond Vineyard on the Sunday and did a great job. The following week was another time of leading worship, although just acoustically in a room full of church planters (including ourselves) at a church planting school with Steve Nicholson

That weekend Steve also did a "Toolkit for Life" conference at Southend Vineyard (our old church), and I got to sit back a bit and play bass in the band along with Wendy O'Connell and Matt Chalk.

Sunday morning we were at Rayleigh Vineyard
I lead worship there with my good friend Dave Gellette.

So we're pretty tired, but the fun never stops. The travelling and flying around probably took the most out of us, but everything went pretty smoothly. Even little Joe seemed to enjoy his first flight on a plane, sleeping through most of it.

The next few months will be concentrated on launching the Forth Valley Vineyard Satelitte and we already seem to be getting a little bit of a kicking spiritually. So please pray that we get some time in the chaos to rest up and regroup before we kick into battle again.

SOUL................

2006-10-02T23:53:00.001+01:00

I wish I had an ounce of the soul of this guy, just wait till the vocals kick in...oh man, if only I could lead worship with a voice like that, ...maybe when we get to heaven there'll be a big bluesman leading the worship.

Ladies and gentlemen, the late Freddie King.....

What is Worship

2006-09-19T09:35:00.000+01:00

This weekend we have the "What is Worship" conference at the Almond Vineyard, with Dan Wilt

It's going to be a busy time getting everything together, rehearsing the band, and continuing to teach guitar the rest of the time. I love times like this and I'm really looking forward to the weekend.

After that we are off down to Southend to see my wife's family. It'll be the first time that baby Joe has been on a plane, so hopefully he's inherited my travelling gene.

2006-09-11T10:09:00.000+01:00

Back up needed

2006-09-03T00:58:00.000+01:00

I'm typing this flat on my back as I did something nasty to it yesterday. I often suffer from sciatica but yesterday something went and to cut a long story short I now have pain in my back when I bend or move and pain in my legs all the time. I can't do very much except lie down. So please pray, there's a lot coming up this month, plus I need to be able to help with Joe. I'll keep you updated.

Joe Chillin'

2006-08-05T17:42:00.000+01:00

Just felt like posting a couple of pics of Joe

Going to see the boss!

2006-08-04T23:15:00.000+01:00

Just booked a ticket to go see Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger sessions band in Sheffield....roll on November!!

life is Sweet

2006-08-04T02:10:00.000+01:00

It's 2am. My 5 week old son has just covered me in vomit after demolishing an entire large bottle of expressed milk. Knowing that I have to drive 20 miles into Edinburgh to be in the church office for a meeting at 9.30am, he has decided that he's going to stay wide awake. I'll be forced to sit up until about 3.30 watching old repeats of Star Trek and Frasier to keep my mind occupied whilst Joseph battles sleep so that he can stare at me and wave his arms around, having just discovered that he can. Then I look at him cradled in my arms in his blanket here on the couch, and I realise just how sweet life is and that I don't want to be anywhere else or with anyone else.

Headin' for the Streets

2006-07-31T13:28:00.000+01:00

This Tuesday and Wednesday we have a team fom Duluth Vineyard in Minnesota coming over to help do some Servant Evangelism in Falkirk. My criteria for this is that anything we do has to be useful and a blessing rather than just a "marketing giveaway". I'm looking forward to it, butwith lots of trepidation. It'll be a chance to bless our community, but I'm far more comfortable being out in public with a guitar in my hand rather than in conversation. Well, it'll stretch us and hopefully extend the kingdom in the lives of broken people. What a priveledge that is. Please pray, I'm expecting great things, I'll keep you posted!

Oh God

2006-07-29T12:40:00.000+01:00

The pictures that I see of the destruction of Lebanon just wrench my heart in two. This exteme use of force against civilian targets by the IDF is in-excusable, however I also blame the lebanese government for supporting Hezbollah when they had 6 years, and a UN mandate to disarm them, and by association declaring war on Israel. Interestingly on the Lebanese Army web site it calls hezbollah the, "Lebanese Resistance". A recent poll suggests that over 80% of Lebanese support Hezbollah against Israel, which is actually understandable as their country is being torn apart and their government does nothing to either prevent it in the first place or stop it, except blame the US and UK. Hezbollah are an extremist organisation. Although they also run clinics and schools etc, they are responsible for firing hundreds of rockets, indiscriminantly at Israeli towns, killing Arabs as well as Jews. Do a search on Hezbollah, its scary reading. Distrubingly in some of the blogs I've read and news reposrts I seen, very few are condemming Hezbollah or the Lebanese government (which contains Hezbollah members in the cabinet). The Israelis need to be stopped, before anymore innocents die but so do the terrorists and the attacks on Israel. This is what happens when governments tolerate terrorist groups on their soil. Someone said that evil always arises when good men do nothing.

I don't have any clue as to what can be done, but massive destruction of Lebanon isn't the answer.

I found this picture on Wikipedia, ring any bells?

These are Hezbollah recruits being sworn in.

Here are two viewpoints form a neutral nation in this conflict, Malta.

Our New Son

2006-06-28T10:48:00.000+01:00

Allow me to introduce Joseph Daniel Campbell, born yesterday in Stirling. Both mother and baby doing well, I'm finding it very hard to string a sentence together so I'll post later when I've calmed down a bit and got some sense back ;)

Nearly Here

2006-06-18T22:37:00.000+01:00

Some of you know already. Our baby is breech. We were expecting this because of a condition that was pre-diagnosed but were hoping for a natural birth. Anywhoo, the consultant wants to avoid trying to turn the baby and deliver by c-section. My wife is booked on on the 27th June (one week early), and we will become parents. Only 8 and a half days to go....get praying and I'll go buy the cigars in anticipation.

Almost forgot...my mum's tumor has shrunk to almost nothing. She has been on a clinical trial which has been really successful and she has only one more chemo session to go! God is Good!!

Keith Richards & his Tele

2006-06-07T01:03:00.000+01:00

Just wanted to post a a very cool picture of a great guitarist with a great looking Tele. One for the geeks like me!

Simple...ahhh

2006-05-31T01:12:00.000+01:00

This Sunday morning owing to cutbacks ;) I just lead worship by myself, one acoustic guitar, one mic, a very receptive and hungry congregation lot's of grace from God and a heart bursting to sing out to Him. Most of the songs were old Vineyard standards, this was my set list:

Who is like our God
Holy
In the Secret
More Love
You are God in Heaven

We're stripping everything back for the summer, small acoustic duos and minimal bands, and I get the priviledge of trying out new leaders and releasing them...fantastic.

Challenging thinking on worship leading

2006-05-19T23:54:00.000+01:00

I'll develop this more over the next couple of days but I've been mulling over a point that was made at NettleHill. It was asked whether we were going down a road where worship leaders were expected just to turn out 5 well played easy songs for 25 minutes every Sunday morning, before the 40minute sermon (never understood why the sermon was longer than the worship or ministry time) and anything innovative, containing mystery or passion would be seperated to a "worship evening". If that's the case then we might as well put a CD on!!

I'm all for accessibility but I think we often underestimate the sophistication of the congregation. I think that, if God initiates something (and you can usually tell) then we need to feel free to go with it. I'm not talking about singing in tongues for four hours or hyping things...I mean genuine being in the presence of God and lifting our hearts wholly to Him,; that could be done in silence too. After all didn't Wimber say that we are Vineyard because of our VALUES (what we believe) rather than what we do? On a trainig tape about leadership from the mid 80s he says (paraphrase), ...."you can have 99 violins and 72 pianos if you like...I don't care... If you want a choir have a choir...do what's right in your context". He was saying that the method, whilst needing to have accessibility to the community and integrity, isn't actually that important.

I've just been watching Bruce Springsteen from 1975, a legendary gig from Hammersmith. Ok, it's a performance, but there is so much passion and hunger coming from the band and during the extended arrangements and improvisations the audience aren't lost, they are caught up. How much more passion. sweat, tears, hunger should we as a royal priesthood (I mean all Christians in this) singing praise and intimate love songs to God Almighty show. I know that I often get in a rut and "just sing the songs" as pastors often like saying, with a sea of blank faces munching donuts and drinking coffee staring at me, unmoved (or so it seems). Sometimes God breaks through and I feel like I'm going to explode and the congregation (well about half of them) are lifting their hearts to the father, lost in adoration. But my question is, if Bruce can let his grit out EVERYTIME he plays so much he shakes, why can't we do that for our Father in heaven. I'm not talking about performing (I'd do it behind a curtain quite happily)....I'm just talking about being us....being authentic....being artists and being passionate. I think it is part of our job as worship leaders to express the hunger, joy, pain and adoration theough music for those who are gifted in other ways...How about maybe being really brave and doing 3 songs or 7?? ;)

Just a thought. Feel free to comment, i'm just in a questioning mode.

Monday, Monday

2006-05-15T11:27:00.000+01:00

Well, it's been a few days since I returned to the land of hills. I'm feeling encouraged and challenged by the time spent at Nettle Hill. It was good to make some new friends and spend quality time with some old ones. These things, by their nature as an open forum, often have a danger of either becoming a "winge fest" or an insular talking shop. This was nothing like that. We discussed the felt needs of outr local communities, the regions and our national movement. Everyone was on board, and I could see that fundamentally everyone was more interested in what God wanted for the Vineyard worship community than anything personal. In fact I saw a return of the sheer hunger and passion that was around in the early days, before we got all "professional". This time we'll have the quality with the passion....what an unstoppable combination.

As the Vineyard is pretty new in Scotland, what I took away, again, was that our missional job is simply to introduce people to the concept of engaging and encountering God through simple, accessible love songs. I think that this is the Vineyard's gift and calling. It's happened in each nation it has ventured into, ever since that first meeting in John and Carol Wimber's home. Over the years we've tried repacking, questioning, dismissing, embracing, re-formatting, in equal measure, our expression of worship. But, call me old fashioned, it seems to keep coming back to the desire in every human being just to sing praise and pour out there heart to the Father, whether they realise it or not. Here in the Forth Valley, we want to create a place where that can happen.

Another Busy Week Ahead

2006-05-08T10:42:00.000+01:00

Tomorrow I'm off to the Vineyard records Worship Development Network down in the Midlands. We'll be meeting up with worship leaders from all over the country as well as Dan Wilt and Peter Fitch (from St Croix Vineyard in Canada). I'm really looking forward to it.
In fact, because I'm a bit of an aviation geek i'm just as looking forward to the flight down on a Dash-8 turbo prop with FlyBe (yes I checked, I'm that sad). I like the whole buzz of airports and travel,meeting up with people etc.

On the home front, my mum's tumor has shrunk by four inches, which is excellent as it was too big to operate but now it's going to plan. We've started a new housegroup in Falkirk, as well as continuing with Pure, God really is moving in our area, i hope I have some stories to tell soon.

Raw, Bluesy and Great

2006-05-04T10:16:00.000+01:00

Enjoy!! (Click on the play button at the bottom of the player rather than the big one in the centre which links to YouTube)

Fear of what's coming.

2006-03-31T09:58:00.000+01:00

This picture perfectly sums up how the Christian life feels sometimes!

IQ

2006-03-28T14:23:00.000+01:00

I did an IQ test yesterday which took about 25 minutes...and apparently I've got an IQ of 125. According to one website that is classed as: Gifted Borderline Genius: 125 - 135

Wonders will never cease. I guess eating all that fish has paid off. Of course I still can't wallpaper, tile a bathroom, play football and about a million other things but hey, today I feel clever.

Bandname generator

2006-03-27T13:58:00.000+01:00

A nifty little thing I found on the net. Here's the name it came up with for me.

Your Band Name is:

The Playdough Police

Band Name Generator

Back to Basics

2006-03-26T21:27:00.000+01:00

I lead worship at Almond Vineyard this morning. After having a sore throat all week and losing an hours sleep because of the clock going forward I wasn't expecting great things. Also with all that's been going on I hadn't lead on a Sunday morning for a month or so, I was feeling very rusty. Add to that it was a baby dedication with lots of vistors (some elderly), I was a wee bit tense. This morning I decided to go back to basics. My Rickenbacker was plugged into my Vox amp, turned up so that there was just the right amount of overdrive...no pedals, just riding the volume to get clean or dirty tones. I shut my eyes, and just sang the songs, pouring my heart out to the Father. All my petty hang ups and problems disappeared and I felt again the honour and priveledge of serving God and the church that comes with this job of being a lead worshipper.

The Road Ahead

2006-03-23T16:57:00.000Z

Well, it's been a weird week. Both Deb and I have been ill with varying degrees of colds, sore throats and general naffness. On Sunday night at our gathering service I did a message on Spritual warfare and opposition (based on Nehemiah). The talk was as much for myself as anyone else.
Debbie and I have had a lot of time together this week as she's been off sick, so we've been chatting about the future, where we're at, where we're going etc. We've not come to many conclusions except that we need to carry on what God has started here in this area. In fact my feeling is that we need to get more partisan about it. If we're going to get our backsides kicked as hard as we have this year so far then God has something big around the corner. To be honest I'm more at home in the role of guerilla fighter than part of something big, comfortable and organised. I feel a call back to the edge...maybe I'm just being nostalgic, maybe I'm just realising who I am.

Tough Times

2006-03-15T21:01:00.000Z

After such a powerful conference, I guess the kickback was inevitable. I found out last Thursday that my mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. That phone call came just before I walked into the last evening session at Bournemouth. I couldn't find a way to tell anyone as I think I would have lost it. Worship almost broke me and then I experienced the tenderness of God in the ministry time. The next few weeks and months will be tough for the family. You assume, as a son that a mother is eternal and will always be there, and she may be but this kind of illness has you fearing the worst. It's situations like this that remind you that you are a grown man and now it's time to step up to the plate as the roles reverse. Those of you that pray.....you know what to do.

National Leader's Conference

2006-03-13T09:30:00.000Z

I was away in Bournemouth last week for our National Conference. This year God really seemed to be doing something within the movement. The impression I got was that if God wasn't in this then we need to go do something else. Thankfully God was and is in it as he really moved powerfully.Another thing that stood out, especially for me when Wendy O'Connell spoke, was that we as the Vineyard are called to be a particular slice of the pie. We should never forget our heritage or our inheritance, especially considering winning the lost or in worship. There was some great teaching during the week, but it was that simple testimony that affected me most.

If our movement had ever been derailed in the past it was as if God was putting us back on track...."the main and the plain". I must admit I do worry about the fact that we Christians seem to spend more time wittering on about post-modernism and the latest sociological theory, or seeker technique than actually praying for the sick, casting out demons, feeding the hungry or just being useful. I'm not anti-intellectual, but I like things simple, it was how I was brought up since I fell into this thing in the late 80s. I don't think that a struggling single mum with three kids and no money really cares about post-Christendom or whether the church is emerging, she just wants someone to love her and reveal Jesus to her. That said, all I'm talking about is doing what we're called to and I've been convicted this week of that very issue myself.

The same thing seemed to be happening in worship. I've noticed a trend at conferences where when a bunch of leaders get together (me included) we sit and critique the worship or winge about the song choice / worship leader / volume..etc. The Lord really spoke to me about this during the week as I had been guilty of it. As a movement we need to get behind our worship leaders and ministries like vineyard records. Although we should be free to air our opinions it needs to be done with love and in a constructive, prayerful way. I did have a rant at some people who were talking about the worship as if they had been to a battle of the bands contest, I just couldn't hold it in much longer. All I was hearing was negative, there were no solutions offered and often the comments/ questions (in other forums) often came from pride or the desire for a stage.

Anyway, as I said, I've been guilty of this myself, but I really came away this week with a renewed passion and vigour for our calling and for the Vineyard family. The Lord has given us something very precious for the lost and the broken, we should never be ashamed of that.

Springtime in Scotland

2006-03-13T00:41:00.000Z

So much for global warming then. Our Church Service was cancelled today as Scotland was hit by 6 - 10 inches of Snow. (Any Canadians reading this will probably laugh at how pathetic we are).

We've been dry all winter and now it's March my area looks like Norway!!

Psalm 139 - I'm still in awe

2006-02-15T14:07:00.000Z

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

Looking Good

2006-02-14T12:38:00.000Z

We just had our 20 week scan on the baby and everything is looking pretty good. Deb's blood tests came back as low risk of downs or spin bifida and the sonographer said today that everything looked fine after about 20 minutes of measuring etc. It was amazing seeing the strong spine, some ribs, the kidneys and the chambers of the heart pulsing. It just really struck me that God's best work is often done in the secrect place, hidden from view. When we looked today, He's certainly been busy.

Latest News

2006-02-10T09:37:00.000Z

Work is slowly starting to pick up. Although the downside is that I realised the other day that I've almost stopped playing for pleasure completely, instead playing as work. I've been playing a lot in preparation for lessons or in church but rarely spending more than 10 minutes being creative or doing stuff just for the sake of it. I plan to remedy that today!!

I'm trying to write a two year plan in order to prepare for possible church planting in the near future....not easy as I'm not a natural planner, I'm a dreamer. We're looking at moving house soon, either towards Linlithgow or Falkirk (maybe even Stirling) so lot's of prayer required on that one as we have a small window to do it in.

We've got our 20 week scan next week to check up on how God's doing knitting our baby together. I'm always a little nervous until I get there. This will be our 3rd scan...we get extra for medical reasons. I'm trying to prepare myself for how radically our life will change in about 4 months time....yikes!!!

Looking forward to the Leader's conference in March, I got my flights for 10 pence return plus tax (£25 in total). I love Ryanair, they can fly me 450 miles in a 737 for just over half of what it would costs me to fill up my car's petrol tank.

Gear wise, new toys to play with. I got some birthday money, so I hit Ebay (before the baby gets their mitts on it for the next 20+ years). I got a couple of Behringer's new pedals, excellent value for money (£15 each), basically copies of the old Boss classics. I got an old Boss delay and a Morley Wah Wah. Also I managed to pick up a Godin SDXT, (built in New Hampshire USA with Canadian Parts form Quebec ), for an absolute steal. I can't believe what other companies charge for their guitars when you can, if you look around, get a good quality North American made guitar for less than an entry level Epiphone.

I realised during this, how much I changed when I had the chance to get an Ibanez Artstar 335 type electric locally. It was a lovely instrument but was £70 over my budget. Before now, I would have just gone for it without thinking, but I felt a real urge to restrain and look for something within the budget. In fact with a little patience and a bit of sense I waited and found the Godin, and actually saved money. So, the upside is, I haven't spent what we haven't got, there's no guilt. I think I've done what the Lord has taught me recently and it's paid off. What a good feeling

The best thing is, the shop that I got the Godin from, sent me a more expensive model by mistake (I'd originally ordered the SD which has single coils). I thought I should be honest and let them know in case they wanted to swap it. They replied saying that they were happy for me to keep it and thanked me for my honesty....result!

Anywhoo I'll post more soon.

Pure

2006-02-06T14:47:00.000Z

Click on the thread title for the link to the new web site for the Linlithgow / Forth Valley gathering event.

Tidal Waves and Whirlpools

2006-02-03T11:36:00.000Z

It's funny. Last weekend I was in the depths of despair, for no apparent reason, no energy, no hope, grumpy as hell and passionless. This week I've been exactly the opposite. Full of beans, full of faith, productive, tidal waves of joy hitting me....I even grinned for about 3minutes at one point ;) Weird huh?

I keep getting reminders that we are in a spiritual war. After recieving last weeks kicking, this week I feel stronger I've had divine appointments, my prayers have been answered and I feel like I've taken a few more baby steps along the road. Though, I really need to get deeper in the Word,that's been the biggie that I've learned and it's a habit I want to form quickly.

So let's see what today brings.......

15 MINUTES!!

2006-01-31T10:23:00.000Z

That's how long it took me to do my tax return online yesterday (it was due today). Thankfully I'd been employed for most of that year by the Inland revenue, so it was easy, but I enjoy feeling smug.

Quote for the Day

2006-01-29T19:27:00.000Z

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. -- Mark Twain

This is proper music! - one more vid

2006-01-27T23:19:00.000Z

I want to be this authentic when I grow up

Shut up 'n' play Yer Geetar!

2006-01-27T21:03:00.000Z

The Makeover Continues

2006-01-25T10:37:00.000Z

Been a good weekend for input and growth. Friday I had some time with Jesse Duley (check out the link at the side) which opened up some new doors guitar wise for me. As a die hard blues rocker, I'm keen to look at new ways of approaching guitar playing and musicality. Often it's really useful just to hang with someone who has a different perspective in order to expand your own.

On Saturday i was invited to a church planting forum in Glasgow with Michael Gatlin, the senior pastor of Duluth Vineyard in the USA. Again, I took tons of useful stuff from that, which will come in handy with this thing that we're doing around here. Michael then came and spoke to our worship leaders on Sunday night. I love that he really explained the Vineyard values and calling in a such a real and un - hyped way, it's good to keep hearing that stuff.

The best bit of the weekend was that Sunday was my birthday (33), always a good day!

Gettin ' the Gig

2006-01-17T15:08:00.000Z

I'm making an ok living by teaching guitar, and enjoying the flexibility I've got. However we got some major changes coming, and I won't be able to teach from home in about 6 months time (unless we get a bigger house). I know that the Lord will provide, but my wife's salary is a big chunk of our income and that will decrease too next year. So, time to use some imagination, and what God has given me to work out some new business and teaching ideas.

On that note, I've just been making multiple copies of my demo so I can get some gigs. It's been a while since I did them regularly (except leading worship of course). I'm praying for the right musicians, the right venues and that somehow I'll get paid. It's either that or working in a bank, so those of you with an intercessory gift...you know what do.

I Wish All CEOs Were Like This

2006-01-17T14:08:00.000Z

I recently had the opportunity to exchange my Gibson DC for a mint condish Rickenbacker 650A (a guitar that I never could afford new) in a straight swap. Of course I jumped at the chance. God is good!! Rickys aren't for everybody, this one has a large chunky neck, and a wide fretboard radius. There are the mini humbuckers, and its....turquoise. Well, the Gibson was yellow, so cosmetics can't be that important. Anyway, I did a fair bit of research on this guitar as it's been discontinued for a few years. Naturally I browsed Rickenbacker's web site and their forum. What surprised me was that the CEO of Rickenbacker John Hall regularly posts there. In fact I asked a question about this particular guitar and he was the first to reply. Now this guy runs one of the top guitar companies in the world, and he runs it in a very principled and and top notch way, but he spends a big portion of his day communicating with his customers over the net. he seems down to earth, knowledgable and passionate about what he does.

It just goes to show that you can achieve excellence and be relational at the same time. I have no excuse to say to people that I don't have time for them when a CEO of a high flying company puts such a high priority on it. If I don't have time, it's usually because I've just watched too much TV. Jesus' ministry had this running through it. He put people first, every time, no excuses. We can often get caught up with other things (church included) that we forget just why we're doing this in the first place....people!

My Name is Earl

2006-01-12T16:41:00.001Z

I was up late last night watching the last two episodes of Lost and happened upon a great new comedy called. "My Name is Earl". I haven't laughed so much in ages or so hard. My favourite quote, (in a southern drawl) " Don't run , 'a know where yo mamma parks your house!".

Caution: I have a very sick and dark sense of humour, so some of you might not share my enthusiasm for such a show. But it was so well written I was really impressed.

My new resolution: I'm going to laugh more, it didn't hurt and I'd quite like to do it again.. :D

Brand New Start

2006-01-10T09:48:00.000Z

I like this time of year because of the opportunity it gives to start over. The Christmas holidays did us a lot of good, we had a great rest and now I'm ready to go again. Lots of things to work on this year, I guess resolutions, but also things I really need to do.......watch this space.

bliadhna mhath ùr

2005-12-31T13:09:00.000Z

That's, "Happy New Year", in the tongue of my kilted hairy ancestors and, "..'ave a good 'un mate.." from the English part of the family. Here's to 2006,....bring it on!

It's Christmas Eve!!!

2005-12-24T00:22:00.000Z

Our window is fixed. The guys came yesterday and replaced it in 40 minutes....

Also I needed a backup guitar , so I found a 1986 E serial (the Fender geeks will realise the significance) Japanese 62 reissue Strat. It is beat to hell, has dings on it's dings and still looks better than the custom shop "relics" as this really has been played hard for 20 years. The pups are a wee bit spiky at times but the neck is fantastic, it's one of the best playing Strats I've had. I usually have a love hate thing with Strats but this one was a real blessing and I got it for less that the cost of a squier. Anywhoo I sold off the G3 Powerbook (see previous post) after doing it up then realising I didn't actually need it, but made a tidy profit which paid for the Strat. Good things come to those who wait.

We had the third Pure service on Sunday which went really well, I'm excited to see how it develops in the next year.

Well, it's Christmas Eve morning, almost my favourite day of the year, just praying for snow and God's continued good grace and fatherly love.

The Slings and Arrows & the faithful One

2005-12-15T09:59:00.000Z

We seem to be taking a few hits at the moment, I think the fact that we are at the end of the year and just knackered doesn't help. So things seem much bigger than we are. Last night our patio door window was mysteriously broken. It's still intact but looks like something has hit it with tremendous force making a crazing pattern all over it. I had the police round as it looks as though it was either a thrown rock or an air gun pellett. Could have been worse but I'm looking over my shoulder a lot more and I'm edgier, more alert to any noise. It's weird because my first instinct was to get all "Tony Soprano" about it and rage. But I guess that's male pride and the protection gene kicking in. I switched on the God channel this morning and the message was about dealing with anger. I then came upstairs and logged onto the NYC Vineyard site to see what was new (I often listen to the online messages) and guess what the latest sermon from Mike T is? Yep, controlling your tongue, dealing with anger etc. Think God is trying to tell me something!!

Now that I'm dealing with Insurance companies and Police call centres I'm having to put this into practice. I have a fiery celtic temper, which I usually manage to keep under wraps but occasionally it seeps it's way out. My prayer is to keep calm and gentle of spirit whilst channeling all this other stuff in a more constructive way (my guitar is in for such a beating later).

However everytime I've felt like God has left the building over the past few weeks, he's caught me off guard by doing something amazing just to show that He is faithful and that that moment a feel a little daft for doubting Him.

Finding Your Voice on a Monday Morning

2005-11-28T10:57:00.000Z

This past Saturday I had the pleasure of driving up to St. Andrews to do a little acoustic guitar workshop, with a little help from Jesse Duley. I always like going up that way, the town has a great vibe, reminds me of Oxford, just with more tartan.

Anyway, I'm writing this on my least favourite day of the week...Monday. Today I've decided that rather than just get maudlin about the mundane and all the stuff I've got to do this week, I thought I'd try something novel (for me), and turn Monday into a day of dedication to the Lord. Now, I'm not talking about a 24 hour prayer session. I'm just being deliberate in thinking about Him, talking to Him and waiting on Him, as I go about ther day to day stuff. It seems to have been a blessing already, much more peace than usual, more clarity and more sense of Him. I also decided to begin work on a collection of blues songs. I've been wanting to do this for years, but never had the nerve. Blues is easy to play technically but very hard to play properly. It's also difficult not to sound like a cliche'd pub rocker hammering out yet another 12 bar.

Since we were in Oxford I've felt a pressing to really let out my own musical voice. As a worship leader my main focus in music of recent years has been playing in an accessible way, which is what is required to do the job. But as an artist that can sometimes be a hinderance as I now have a (imaginary) senior pastor type who lives in my head with the job of editor. He's very useful when I'm leading worship as I'm there for the congregation not my own musical kicks. But when I'm trying to create in a non corporate artistic capacity it can be a pain.

However I've felt more an more of a release over the past couple of months, thanks to guys like Dan Wilt who really model a life of authentic accessible worship leading as well as a fruitful artistic life. After years of inner conflict I realise that the two facets can live side by side. Besides, musically, I was always more Keith Richards than Cliff Richard more John lee Hooker than John Barnett (bad analogy I know, but it's Monday!), now I realise that's perfectly ok.

I'll try to diarise the process as I do it. I'm hoping to demo the first song which is partially written, some time today. Should be an interesting journey. Now I need to dust off my mojo and see if it's working! (bad Muddy Waters pun)

TGI Friday

2005-11-18T10:39:00.000Z

No, not the famous restaurant. I'm just glad it's Friday. I try and keep this day clear as much as possible so that I have a day off in the week. It's amazing how much time church stuff takes up, so Sundays are pretty much a working day for me. Friday is kinda like my sabbath, I do a bit of work, but I usually don't need to see anybody, and I usually go for a drive into Edinburgh to do my banking and buy myself a Starbucks. Then in the evening I actually get to see my wife for more than an hour. We've both been running ragged recently so these times we've got together are precious. I can't complain about my job as I get paid to play the guitar and teach people who are just starting out on the musical journey. Then my other "job", or vocation really, I get to lead people into worshipping the living God in a current, authentic and accessible way. The pay isn't great (or exists) but the job satisfaction is way beyond anything else.

If I would change one thing it would be that my wife and I worked at the same time so we could see more of each other. My prayer at the moment is that I could earn enough so she could be at home part time and I could do the bulk of support for the family. And a final cheery thought.......3 months until I'm 33. I'll be closer to 40 than to 25, scary.

Great Weekend

2005-11-14T15:23:00.001Z

Haven't posted for a while as life has been pretty bonkers around here. This weekend we hosted a "Heart and Skill" day conference along with Vineyard records. The day was really well attended, the feedback we got from the punters was great and VR even let me loose to teach a workshop on acoustic guitar. Aside from a few technical hitches with aged drum kits, not enough p.a. and important power leads having a wander we got through it unscathed. Also it was great just to hang out with some of the guys such as Nathan Horner and Danny from VR, Matt, John and Mark from Bristol Vineyard and Jesse Duley, who's somewhere in transit between "dahn sarf" and St Andrews. Good day, lot's of God stuff, guitar talk and pizza, what more could you ask for?

On a far more frivolous note I'm just doing up a G3 Lombard Powerbook that I picked up on Ebay. It needs a new battery, OSX (already ordered from the US), Ram (on it's way), PRAM battery (still to get) and a bigger hard drive. the actual machine itself is in great condition for a 6 year old laptop. Looking forward to standing out at Vineyard conferences with my sleek black stealth book in a sea of silvery G4s.....black is the new titanium!

I Think We Started Something.....

2005-10-24T14:08:00.000+01:00

Last night we had the first of our "Pure" services in Linlithgow. This was intended to be a public worship service in our local area, something that those of us who live in this area could invite our friends to, and just to basically worship in the heart of our community.

So here's what happened. We met in the Burgh Halls, right in the centre of town, just down the path from the old Linlithgow palace (Mary, Queen of Scots was born there and Scottish royalty used it as a residence since the 12th century). Funnily enough it's also just next to the masonic lodge, which was interesting. I had a plan for the format of the evening, worship then some teaching and some ministry. As soon as we started the first song, that all went out the window, all we could do was worship for the rest of the time, the presence of God was so thick in the room. It actually felt more like a declarartion, a repossession of this ancient building and this ancient town. The vibe was strange but good, a mixture of elation and fear. We of course finished in the Vineyard tradition of coffee and cake! Just about everybody wanted to do it again, which is always good, so we are going to make it regular and see if it grows into anything. I had an incling of the significance of this meeting with the intense spiritual warfare that went on the night before (I had a very bad night, nightmares, irrational feelngs of terror etc). And today Deb is off work with a migraine and she is just wiped out. So, please keep praying for us. Just within a 25 mile radius our area has a very bloody, violent history, lots of occultic practice going back to pre-Roman times, and good old fashioned oppression caused by economic and spiritual factors. I have always thought that we went last night to pick a fight and to begin our stand for the lost, looks like we've started something...

Devotion

2005-10-21T13:06:00.000+01:00

Lyrics from a song I wrote last week, which have more resonance today (see a few threads down for the link to hear it)

Devotion

My heart is steadfast, Oh God,
I will sing with all my soul,
I will awaken the dawn,
To praise You,
My Lord

Lord You've shown me real love, unconditionally,
I give You my devotion, with everything in me

My heart is steadfast, Oh God,
I will praise You among the nations,
Lord lift up Your name,
To this sleeping generation.

From a caterpillar.......

2005-10-21T11:58:00.000+01:00

Feeling a bit weird today....ok so those of you that know me well, know that nothing new. We've got a lot coming up, mainly the "Pure" service in Linlithgow which starts this Sunday, but I feel in a kind of limbo yet I keep getting a glimpse of something else. Business is very slow, so I need to find more students or raise my price quick, or get another job / business / idea. However I have writing and music pouring out of my every pore. I've never worshipped like I've worshipped this week. My playing has never been better, I have tons of mental energy but my body always feels tired at the moment. I feel like I'm on the verge of a new thing but I'm terrified that it'll never come and my efforts are wasted, ever had that? I guess I need to work on my trust and spend more time with the Father. I do feel like I'm in a cocoon about to emerge, but it's very uncomfortable waiting to get out, but I don't want to make the mistake of coming out before God decides it's right. On top of that we're getting a few arrows heading our way, I guess that has something to do with the fact that we are set to establish a a worshipping community in the Forth Valley and there's a hell (pun intended) of a lot of oppression here. We've picked a fight in this area and I expect opposition, but arrows do smart when they hit, so you prayers keep praying.

Anyway, got to stuff to do. I've been encouraged by some people to get into my writing (songs) in a purposeful way, as in actually doing something about it. Although I probably better get through that list that Debbie kindly left me this morning ;)

How to learn humility

2005-10-18T23:20:00.000+01:00

Here's a tip for any budding guitar teachers out there. Never ...EVER, regardless of how relevant it is to what you are illustrating play the intro to Stevie Ray Vaughan's, "Scuttle Buttin'" in front of a student on a Tuesday late afternoon with less than 3 cups of coffee inside you. Especially when you haven't practiced it more than twice...and then don't even think about being so really impressed with yourself that it sounded vaguely similar, that without a seconds hesitation you put on iTunes and play them the real version. It's abit like doing 70mph on a clear motorway then entering yourself for the Monaco Grand prix. From beyond the grave SRV made me look like a bumbling slow witted fool and taught me a lesson about humility and being a muppet. Today's lesson has concluded.

What an Evening

2005-10-13T10:48:00.000+01:00

Scotland win 3 - 0 and then the recent Cream reunion from the Albert Hall was on BBC4.....fantastic.

Heritage Matters

2005-10-08T20:05:00.000+01:00

This has really stood out for me recently. Especially as the Lord seems to be stirring the Vineyard in Scotland and Ireland. We just had a couple of regional meetings with John and Ellie Mumford, National Directors of Vineyard Churches UK. Today was a general leader's day where John and Ellie, along with Steve Barber from Southend told stories of the old days, where they had come from, where we had come from. For some of our guys it was important to hear their heritage. Yesterday I was really priveledged to lead worship for a senior pastor's meeting of the Celtic churches (Although I broke a "D" string for the first time in months, thanfully in the last song).

There seems to be a realisation in the Vineyard to really hold on to and, more importantly defend and pass down our inheritance in the kingdom. The Vineyard isn't always the bee knees but it's our family, and those of us that have been around for a while need to keep telling the old stories as we create new ones. In the last 6 months I've heard declarations on this from leaders and friends, such as Lance Pittluck, Wendy O'Connell, Matt Turrigianno and the pastors at Friday's meeting. Whether it's been in a sermon, such as Lance at our local leader's conference in June, or Matt at the worship retreat, or just a heartfelt passionate statement such as made by Wendy at a recent meeting, I think the Lord is in it.

Heritage matters, we have an outward focus to the whole body (quite rightly) but the Vineyard is called to be who we are and nothing else. I sat up last night watching the Martin Scorcese doc. "Red White and Blue" about the British blues boom. I was inspired by the footage of Jeff Beck playing blinding, raw, emotional guitar recreating, along with Van Morrison, and Tom Jones et al, the songs that made up their musical heritage. Regardless of the fashion or the fad it's when we are true to ourselves we really shine.

Forget the Politics Just Enjoy the Moment

2005-10-06T17:25:00.000+01:00

One of the guys who posts over on the Fender Forum and is serving in Iraq had this pic taken. Regardless of what you feel about the war, this picture really moved me.

How to survive getting your butt kicked daily!

2005-10-06T16:16:00.000+01:00

If you are one of those sensitive, creative, insecure, moody types like me then you'll know what I'm on about. This has been a season of great blessing, hard lessons, joy and tough days. The Lord is really pulling me along with Him and it's fantastic, but the old man (the flesh, for religious readers) doesn't like and is trying to revert to old ways and old thinking. So, there's a battle going and there always will be. I used to struggle with depression but since some major healing over a two year period I don't get depressed anymore (honest, I'm officially a cheery wee soul!). However the enemy often tries to convince me that I am, or am about to. It's now more like my passion gets sapped for a while and my body goes tired. That's when the old flesh kicks in and tries to fix it how I used to. That could be through withdrawing, or just plain old sinning. So, today for example, I felt dreadful, everything was an effort. The solution? I just spent about 2 hours "jamming" along with random worship music. I cranked my amp, put iTunes on shuffle, and played with whatever came on. When you play for an audience of one, whether worshiping with a CD, and acoustic guitar or some "worship shredding" a powerful dynamic kicks in. My passion returned, my spirits lifted and I felt "connected" again. Although worship is for God, first and foremost, He has the amazing generosity to bless us and heal us through it.....We can't lose!

So,the moral of the story is, when you feel like you've had your butt kicked, lift your voice (whatever that maybe) and worship anyway. The end result on how you feel isn't that important, but doing what you were designed for will do you more good than you could imagine.

Check your ego at the door

2005-10-04T10:26:00.000+01:00

I was just reading a great interview with one of my favourite guitarists, Carlos Santana, this morning. What really stands out with this guy, whether you love him or loathe him, is just his sheer love of what he does. Something that struck me was when he talked about the fact that other people had warned him against playing with people "better" than him, such Herbie Hancock, Jeff Beck, or Steve Lukather. Carlos' response was that he didn't really care what people thought, he wasn't there to compete, he was there to learn from them. The guy still does it, working with new artists and old from all genres, he sees his role as complimentary, almost part of an whole rather than the star.

I like that attitude and it's what I want to be known for, rather than any percieved ability. Because of our culture and who we make heroes off, musicians often have a problem when it comes to ego and competition. Lead guitarists are often the worst. The old joke goes, "How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? ...10, one to change it and the other 9 to stand around saying, 'I could do that!'."

And don't kid yourself that Christian musicians get away with it. I've been lucky enough to meet and have contact with musicians of all levels both Christian and non-Christian. To be honest there was often no way of telling, there is an equal amount of humility and ego in both camps. The guys that get around it are those who aren't doing it for any reason other than they just love doing it. These are the guys who get off whether they are fronting the gig or just playing some chords in the background. They are also the guys who willing to share, teach and mentor in orer to pass it on. Danny Daniels was one of those guys for me. A really great musician, I played for him a few times when he came to Southend to do some blues gigs in the pubs. I learned a lot from watching him and listening to him. He'd been around but he knew his stuff and he was real. Those gigs and rehearsals did me more good than months of lessons ever would have.

So, let's put any competition and ego aside and make a decision that our job as musicians is to make the other guy sound great. Who fancies a jam then...?

How NOT to do lead guitar for worship - a Dummy's Guide

2005-09-30T11:37:00.000+01:00

I've started writing a lead guitar manual for guitarists in a worship team. In the first chapter I talk about dos and don'ts, heart attitudes and the like. Here is a tongue in cheek list of how to satisfy that huge guitarist ego in a worshp context. I thought you'd enjoy it. The scary thing is I've done most of these things during my playing life...hopefully I don't them as often now......

How to satisy your ego as a lead guitarist in a worship band (place tongue firmly in cheek before reading):

1. Turn up late (about 5 mins before the service should do it)
2. Bring the largest amp & speaker cab you can and the most effects pedals that take the longest time to set up.
3. Whilst sound checking turn everything up full and insist that you can’t get “the tone” without the walls vibrating too.
4. Play something really inappropriate, loud and badly executed, whilst fiddling with pedals, retuning and make sure that you are feeding back at all times
5. Continue to do number 4 whilst the pastor is introducing the service
6. Spend more time adjusting your tuning / volume / effects / hair / amp than actually playing sensitively through the set.
7. When there is a quiet song in a minor key use this as your opportunity to relive the glory days of the 1980s and play a screaming solo whilst imagining yourself on a cliff top. This is especially effective during ministry time
8. Restraint is for wimps, be experimental and use your guitar “prophetically”
9. They are raising their hands for you so play as many solos as you can just to make sure they know for sure what a great musician you are.
10. Instead of lumping heavy p.a. about and setting down, act like the star you are and let the others do some work for a change!

Some worship songs for your listening pleasure

2005-09-29T15:40:00.000+01:00

Plenty of blogging today as I've got a bit of extra time. Anywhoo I just uploaded 3 of my worship songs to my public folder. Feel free to comment, ask questions etc. I thought it would be useful as the recordings are all demo stage, although two have been used already in church and one was just written today.

You can listen here

These are the titles and brief description.

Devotion (demo) - Taken from Psalm 108, recorded about 20 minutes ago, I had some of the lyrics already but just spent some time trying different chords, melody etc.

Lord Most High - I actually wrote this and use it extensivley in Southend about 6 years ago, but I re-recorded it a few months back.

Kingdom Come - Another recent song, I've used this ( played a tad slower) in Sunday services at Almond Vineyard over the past 2 months.

Also, nearly forgot to mention. If you are like me and absolutely naff and directionless at reading the bible daily then check out the link for Mike Turrigianno's study at the side nav bar. He's going through Samuel and journalling daily, it's good stuff.

Soul Language

2005-09-29T13:25:00.000+01:00

One of the things that really stood out at the recent "What is Worship Conference" was the idea of soul languages. There is a definate western Church culture, and those guys who don't play guitar, or who create and worship in different ways can feel like their expression isn't valid. Now, I'm a musician through and through, it's how I'm wired, but the question in my head is how can I encourage and mentor others who have a different "soul language" or expression to let that out? I'd love to have someone creating art on a huge backdrop as I lead worship, or almost a circus atmosphere where you have different people going around the space each expressing their hearts out to God. Not very practical on a Sunday morning, but it would be interesting to see how we could do it. And I bet when we get to the first worship service in heaven there isn't just going to be a 30 something white guy with a Taylor at the front singing "Shout to the Lord". I'm kinda hoping for some 8th century Viking choir acompanied by an Indian sitar orchestra and Ginger Baker on a giant drum kit putting Buddy Rich to shame......all the while dancers, painters, actors, writers and artisans all do their thing.

If we do have guitarists in heaven can you imagine how big the amps will be!!! Wonder who has to be the roadies? It'll probably be all the worship leaders who've ever been stroppy with a sound man...DOH!

More later....

Guitars, Gold and God.

2005-09-29T11:32:00.002+01:00

Deb and I have been really challenged recently about stewardship, finances and materialism. Deb is much better at just getting on with it than I am. I kidded myself for years that I wasn't materialistic until God opened the shutters and let the light in. My biggest weakness was guitars. It's very easy to justify spending money on them when you play for a living. Late last year I started to hear a trickle of God's voice which then turned into a torrent. I felt like he said, stop shopping for guitars and start playing the ones you got! I spent so much time on Ebay buying and selling, changing and swapping that I was using up all that precious resource of time and only playing when I was teaching or leading on a Sunday. I realised that what I was looking for was as much a status symbol as the kid who buys an expensive pair of trainers in order to fit in.

To cut a long story short I now take the mantra of the Sheryl Crow line which says, "It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you got."

The Lord really blessed me with two great guitars, the Gibson Les Paul Faded DC that I mentioned in a previous post and a special Taylor 310 that I got for my 30th birthay a few years ago. I sold the others off. I realised that I was hindereing the Lord's chance to bless me or restrain me by going it alone and just spending money without consulting him. So everyday, just like we do before dinner, I thank God for the great gear he's already given me. The hardest bit is trusting that God really knows what he's doing, but thankfully he shows me tokens of that everyday.

My prayer this week, " Lord, show me what I need in order to serve you, not what I want to show off."

The rollercoaster & some new music

2005-09-27T10:33:00.000+01:00

After the intensity and blessing that was last week, the inevitable happens and my mood goes up an down like a yo yo. I guess it's returning to the routine of every day life and work and problems and worries that carries. I think part of it is plain old attack. I often wake up on a Monday, especially after I've lead worship the previous day, feeling like a waste of skin and struggling to get myself into the day. It soon passes but it can be a battle. I guess it goes with the job, take enemy territory and expect to get countered to some degree. Hopefully I'm getting better at dealing with it and just getting on with what God's called me to. Dan Wilt has a phrase, "beauty and brokeness", which has stuck in my head. We are all capable of exercising both, especially the artistic community.

Anyway, on a cheerier note, I was particularly inspired by some music that I found out about from a guy called Jess Duley, a really good guitarist. I admire anyone who can play fingerpicked acoustic guitar this well, but Jesse combines technical prowess with a lot of feel, which is a rare thing. So, whilst I go off and bury my own guitar in the back garden (only joking!) you can download Jesse's album here. Be sure to go to his blog and let him know what you think. And whilst I'm feeling generous, my own tracks are available for a while on my iDisk folder here. It's the "Breaking out the BlueDay" folder. If any of you who read this (hopefully there is more than one) want to post links to your own music the feel free to leave a comment.

Back Home

2005-09-26T12:03:00.000+01:00

Well, back home after an intense week. Really enjoyable, got to hang out with some great guys and see some old friends. I learned more about encouragement, mentoring,authentic worship, and community just from watching some of these guys relate to each other and those around them than I have in years of being taught about it.

I feel just that little bit different than when I got on the plane to Bristol on Wednesday night. The Lord spoke powerfully the entire week, both to me and a couple of the guys i was with. I'll post more as I process it.

Quote of the Week

2005-09-20T14:46:00.000+01:00

I don't quite know why but this quote, paraphrased from a recent BB King interview really hit me. I know that as leaders, teachers, musicians etc in the kingdom of God, we are doing what we do, just to serve God, see Him glorified and give Him the reward. But through the years I've seen that used as an excuse to take people for granted, and I'm guilty of doing this myself as they are often the last to speak up. Often we don't reward or "usefully bless" those who serve quite enough. After all in the scripture it says, that a worker deserves his wages. Whilst we should instill the servant heart and preffering others I think we need to look at we look after our co-workers and those we lead.

Heres' the quote, interpret it how you will:

"When I played gospel, everybody said how good I was, but when I played a blues they put something in the hat.....from then the choice was easy and I choose blues".

BB King (paraphrased)

Busy Week Ahead

2005-09-19T13:54:00.000+01:00

I'm just grabbing an hour in what is going to be a busy but exciting week. I've got a whole bunch of lessons to do between today and Wednesday, then it's straight to the airport to fly down to Bristol. From there it's over to Coventry for a network day with VMG and a load of worship leaders. Im really looking forward to see what God does, and just hanging out, catching up with a few old faces. Then Friday it's the Dan Wilt conference in Oxford, then flying back Sunday night. Should be a good week.

D'ya think He's trying to tell me something?

2005-09-15T14:09:00.000+01:00

I don't know if it was just a bad choice in late night snacks or if the Lord is continuing His, "Extreme Makeover - Graeme Edition" . I like to think it's the later. I had a couple of pretty vivid dreams last night and there has been a strange vibe around all day.

Here's what happened last night. I was reading, 'Quest for the radical middle", a history of the Vineyard, just before I went to sleep. Now I often dream about what i just read, that's nothinng unusual. What was weird was that I entered that half asleep, half awake stage where you're drifting in and out of sleep. The first dream I had was of Ken Gulliksen standing inside a large wooden cabin. Whilst inside the cabin he started to build another dwelling, but this one was made of brick, and pretty solid, the next thing that I remember dreaming was the ground underneath all this. If you imagine one of those geological cutaway graphics you get in science textbooks showing all the rock layers, that's kinda what I saw. Anyway, running through the ground not too deep under the dwelling ran a huge untapped seam of liquid gold, kinda like an underground river.......

Then I woke up properly. I couldn't get back to sleep because of an irritating pain that had been bothering me all evening. Eventually i fell asleep again an hour or so later but didn't dream anything else. Maybe this dream was my brain's way of processing what I have been reading and praying about. Maybe it was a picture of heritage and things to come from the Lord. just thought I'd share it anyhow.

My New Musical Hero

2005-09-14T20:46:00.000+01:00

For those of you that haven't heard him, go listen to Rory Gallagher, the late great Irish guitarist and singer/songwriter. I would kill for an ounce of the passion and virtousity he had I just rediscovered him recently on an album called. "Live in Europe", .........just go to HMV or wherever and listen, go on......go on!