How NOT to do lead guitar for worship - a Dummy's Guide

I've started writing a lead guitar manual for guitarists in a worship team. In the first chapter I talk about dos and don'ts, heart attitudes and the like. Here is a tongue in cheek list of how to satisfy that huge guitarist ego in a worshp context. I thought you'd enjoy it. The scary thing is I've done most of these things during my playing life...hopefully I don't them as often now......

How to satisy your ego as a lead guitarist in a worship band (place tongue firmly in cheek before reading):

1. Turn up late (about 5 mins before the service should do it)
2. Bring the largest amp & speaker cab you can and the most effects pedals that take the longest time to set up.
3. Whilst sound checking turn everything up full and insist that you can’t get “the tone” without the walls vibrating too.
4. Play something really inappropriate, loud and badly executed, whilst fiddling with pedals, retuning and make sure that you are feeding back at all times
5. Continue to do number 4 whilst the pastor is introducing the service
6. Spend more time adjusting your tuning / volume / effects / hair / amp than actually playing sensitively through the set.
7. When there is a quiet song in a minor key use this as your opportunity to relive the glory days of the 1980s and play a screaming solo whilst imagining yourself on a cliff top. This is especially effective during ministry time
8. Restraint is for wimps, be experimental and use your guitar “prophetically”
9. They are raising their hands for you so play as many solos as you can just to make sure they know for sure what a great musician you are.
10. Instead of lumping heavy p.a. about and setting down, act like the star you are and let the others do some work for a change!